What Is a Life For?

I have spent my entire professional life sitting with people who are searching for meaning. Not success. Not productivity. Not even happiness, at least not in the shallow sense.

Meaning.

People come into my office with impressive resumes, full calendars, families they love, and lives that look good from the outside. And yet something feels off. Flat. Misaligned. Quietly aching.

Over time, I’ve noticed a pattern.

Most people have never actually been asked the most important question. Or if they have, they’ve never slowed down enough to answer it honestly.

So lately, I’ve started asking it directly: What do you believe is the best use of a human life?

Not what society rewards. Not what your parents expected. Not what pays the bills or earns applause.

What, in your bones, do you believe a life is for?

People pause when I ask this. Really pause.

Some talk about love. Some about service. Some about creating something that lasts. Some about raising good humans (though that one has a specific time limit). Some about becoming more honest, more awake, more themselves.

There’s usually wisdom in their answer. Clarity. Depth. A sense of knowing.

Then I ask the second question: Is your life evidence of that answer?

That’s where the room changes.

Because this is not a question meant to shame. It’s a question meant to orient. And for many people, the answer is uncomfortable.

They realize that what they say matters most to them gets crowded out by urgency. By fear. By habits they slipped into rather than chose. By roles they outgrew but never left.

They aren’t bad people. They aren’t even failing. They’re just living a life that no longer matches their deepest values. And that misalignment takes a toll.

It shows up as anxiety. As resentment. As numbness. As the quiet sense that life is happening, but not through them.

Here’s the thing I want people to hear.

You don’t fix this by blowing up your life. You fix it by telling the truth. Truth about what you believe. Truth about how you’re actually living. Truth about where you’ve been afraid to choose.

A meaningful life isn’t built in grand gestures. It’s built in small, repeated acts of alignment. In decisions that look ordinary on the outside but feel right on the inside. In the courage to adjust course before bitterness sets in.

You are allowed to change your answer. You are allowed to change your life to match it. You are allowed to let your days become evidence of what you say you believe.

So I’ll ask you, dear reader, the same questions I ask the people I sit with every week.

What do you believe is the best use of a human life? And if someone were watching how you spend your time, your energy, your love, would they see evidence of that belief?

If not, that’s not a verdict. It’s an invitation. An invitation to live with intention. An invitation to come back to yourself. An invitation to let your life tell the truth.

And that, in my experience, is where meaning actually begins.

If you’re realizing that your life no longer matches what you believe matters most, you don’t have to figure that out alone.

At Integrated Mental Health Associates, our therapists work with people who feel stuck, disconnected, or quietly unfulfilled, even when things look “fine” on the outside. Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you live with clarity, integrity, and alignment.

If you’re ready to begin that work, we offer a free 15-minute consultation to help you find the right therapist for you.

Call 480-261-5015 to schedule your free consultation and take the next step toward a life that actually fits.